Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
