I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
