Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize