This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
