She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
