i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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