Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
