The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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