I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
