I am puke
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
