I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize