After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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