the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
