I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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