I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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