i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
