I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
