Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
