don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
