Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize