Please, let me fuck your mom
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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