Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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