On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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