I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize