I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize