Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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