apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
