and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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