is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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