You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
