I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Your cock deserves a montage
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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