Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
