pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
