The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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