just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
