Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
