He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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