so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
