that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
