BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
