Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
