Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
