You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Even my vagina gasped.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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