i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
