When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't think brook has ever known best
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
