Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
