you have to choose: penises or morals?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
