oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
