i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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