you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
