So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
