I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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