I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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