i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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