I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
