Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
