he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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