also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
