I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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