Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
