It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
There's even glitter on my cock...
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