You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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