Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
