his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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