Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
