let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i now understand why vodka
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
