Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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