How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
